Dear Toxic
My new boyfriend wants to have sex every time we’re alone together and although I’m often up for it too, I definitely don’t need it as much as him. I give him excuses when I’m not in the mood and he sulks for a while, which is irritating. Should I talk to him about it? Katy, via email
You need to tell your little Duracell bunny the truth – you like sex, but you simply can’t go on and on like he can. Then he’ll either ditch you, in which case you should celebrate a lucky escape as Peter Perma-erection was only after one thing. Or he won’t, in which case you should move on to phase two of your relationship – the bit where you begin to mix romping like rabbits with doing stuff that doesn’t involve taking your clothes off, such as going to the cinema, taking holidays and meeting each other’s mates. That’s right, it’s time to find out if you’re compatible, mentally as well as physically.
Dear Toxic
I’ve had several relationships which ended because I got jealous when my boyfriends talked to other girls, even though it was always innocent. I’m in a new relationship now and can feel it happening again, but I don’t know what to do to stop it. Please help. Elizabeth, via email
Make him wear a muzzle when you’re in public. Don’t panic, I’m joking. What you need to do is reveal your issue to your man. Will he think you’re a grade-A loony? Maybe, but the alternative is to say nothing, end up angrily slapping one of his female friends, and then he really will think you’re a bunny boiler. However, if you reveal you like him so much that it causes you to get jealous, he’ll think you’re The Most Amazing Ego-Inflating Girlfriend Ever. So tell him. Then discuss the solution to your problem. Which is? Reassurance. If your boyfriend smiles and says he loves you and only has eyes for you before you go out, the green-eyed monster should disappear. And if it doesn’t? Two words: anger management.
Dear Michelle
Having gone to university later in life, I’m now in my 30s and stuck in an entry-level position with little hope of progression within the company. I’ve had other interviews and have received positive feedback, but they always tell me I don’t have enough relevant experience. How can I kick-start my stalled career? Karen, via email
It is difficult being in a role where you don’t feel motivated. Could you boost your experience by taking an evening class, offering your services for free at the weekend, or taking on freelance projects aside from your job? I would advise you to speak to your boss and explain your situation. If you have made yourself a valuable member of the team, they may be able to find something a little more senior for you to progress to.
Dear Michelle
I’ve worked as a legal secretary for 15 years, but I’d like to work from home and become a virtual assistant. Do you know how I can get started? Cath, via email
Virtual assistants are self-employed and provide admin or technical services from their own home. Working for yourself has its benefits, but think about the decision as you need to be self-motivated and organised – which I’m sure you are!
There are agencies who can supply you with this kind of work, so first try one of these, such as Virtualassistants.co.uk.
Dear Dr Hilary
I have chapped lips and a crusty substance in the corners of my mouth. It’s really unattractive, and painful. My GP has diagnosed angular stomatitis and given me iron tablets and an anti-fungal cream, but they don’t seem to be helping. What else can I do? Connie, via email
Angular stomatitis can have many causes but a fungal infection is one of the most common, which is why your GP has prescribed an anti-fungal cream. And your doctor is right to suggest you take an iron supplement as anaemia, which is common in women with heavy periods, can also be to blame. Sometimes, the condition is the result of a deficiency in B vitamins or other minerals, so take a supplement, such as Boots Vitamin B Complex, £1.99 (Boots.com) and Boots Immune Health Zinc 10mg, £3.09 (Boots.com). You could also apply a topical antibiotic directly to the mouth, such as bactroban ointment, which is available on prescription, if a bacterial infection is to blame.
Dear Dr Hilary
In the past seven months, I’ve lost 4½st. I’m really happy with how my body looks now apart from my saggy breasts. Could I have a boob job on the NHS? Sarah, via email
Unfortunately, drastic weight loss can mean that a considerable amount of fatty tissue from around the breasts is lost. Unless you put weight back on, these fatty tissues cannot be replaced naturally. Speak to your GP, but the NHS does not usually offer breast augmentation unless a patient is experiencing severe psychological distress. Try to focus on the positives of having lost so much weight. You will reap considerable short-term and long-term health benefits, as well as feeling more confident.
Dear Kiki
My boyfriend has booked tickets for a festival but I’m a bit worried about us camping together as he’ll see me at my roughest in the mornings! What should I do? Emily, via email
I’ve never really understood why camping is considered fun. It’s like pretending you’re homeless for the weekend, and not even in the “I’ve drunk so much methylated spirit, I’ve passed out on a park bench” way. Now then, I won’t patronise you by pretending a wet wipe and some lip balm is all you need to look “natural”. We both know that after a certain age (15), anything less than industrial-grade foundation slapped on with a trowel won’t cut it. So I suggest you wait until your boyfriend falls asleep, and then helicopter yourself out of there and into the nearest five-star hotel. Also, don’t even think about getting down alfresco. There’s only one thing worse than carpet burn and it’s unmentionable grass stains.
In a quandary? Email Kiki at kiki@fabulousmag.co.uk or send her a tweet @KikiDeBeauvoir
