By Catherine Gray
The celebs have messed up so you don’t have to. As you head out to enjoy summer’s shindigs, follow these steps to avoid your red-carpet blunder…
DO have loyal mates close by to prop you up
DO co-ordinate fake tans
Lydia, babes, there appears to be an Oompa Loompa following you around. Oh, it’s just Lauren Goodger – on a night out in the West End. No one wants to stand out from the crowd thanks to an encounter with Mr St Tropez. So unless your buddies are bronzed too, a pre-party emergency scrub (you hear us Lauren?) could be just the ticket.
DON’T wear extreme footwear
Walking is one of those things that’s very helpful at getting you from A to B. Which begs the question: how does heel extremist Lady Gaga go to the loo? Non-celebs can pack a pair of pumps if they insist on wearing super sky-highs.
DON’T have your photo taken next to the model
It was the oh-dear moment of the night. Stylist and fashion designer Rachel Zoe learnt the hard way at the Costume Institute Gala in New York that even the slimmest, most stylish woman shouldn’t pose next to a golden-skinned, giraffe-like supermodel like Karolína Kurková. Option a) Avoid being in the vicinity of such an alien being when a camera’s around. Option b) Grin and bear it.
DO style it out if you stack it
This is our favourite picture of the Duchess, ever. She’s lying there at a charity roller disco, legs akimbo, laughing her shiny-haired head off. We applaud you, Kate. It’s all about managing the embarrassment as if you find it totes hilarious.
DO avoid the party joker
Keith Lemon embarrassing Holly Willoughby and Fearne Cotton at the British TV Awards, who’d imagine that? Beware anyone who puts chilli in your vodka, coaxes you into a misjudged version of The Inbetweeners dance and tells the man you fancy you’ve got crabs.
DON’T forget to wear your undercrackers
We feel for Hollyoaks’ Stephanie Davis, 19, at the Soap Awards. Imagine that awful morning-after moment, when you discover your bare bottom is all over the internet. Lesson learnt: when wearing any sort of micro-mini the chance of bearing your undercarriage is greatly increased. So err on the side of caution and don some knickers.
DO the see-through fabric test
Ah, it’s so pretty, so sheer, so… showing the world your boobs. As Abbey Crouch discovered leaving private member’s club Harry’s Bar, a chiffon dress can look classy, until the flashbulbs strip you as fast as Russell Brand, on a mission. To go bra-free, you’ll need skin-coloured tit tape. Ask a pal to do the “flash” test with her phone before going out.
DO be careful where you step
Sometimes a look says a thousand words – as Andie MacDowell, discovered to her cost when she stepped on her 17-year-old daughter Sarah Margaret Qualley’s dress at the Cannes Film Festival. This reminds us of another floor-stopping moment – when that sheet of toilet paper sticks to your shoe. The moral? Watch where you step, particularly when exiting the loo.