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Dear Toxic

I’m in a new relationship and I adore my partner, but I still find myself missing my ex-husband who I divorced 18 months ago. We were married for three years and I thought I’d fallen out of love with him, but I’ve just found out he’s moving a long way from where we live and now I feel like I’m losing my best friend. Should I tell him how I feel? Anna, via email

It’s natural to feel sad when someone you were once so close to moves away, but remember that this man is your ex-husband. People who get divorced tend to have a good reason for ending their marriage, and this reason doesn’t disappear the second they stop sharing a postman. Yes, you loved this man, but it didn’t work, so you got divorced. End of story. Time to move on. You’ve done it by finding a new man and now your ex is trying to do it by leaving town, a move that, while sad, will ultimately benefit you both. So take off your rose-tinted spectacles, keep schtum and let him go.

Dear Toxic

I’ve been single for nearly 10 years and I am beginning to give up hope of finding The One. I’ve tried internet dating and friends have set me up with male friends but it never leads anywhere. I get really nervous on first dates and I don’t think that’s helping. Is there anything else I could try without looking desperate? Name withheld, via email

What do you like doing? I ask for three reasons: 1. Most people fall in love with those who have similar passions to them. 2. Most people are far more relaxed and natural when they are doing something they enjoy. 3. Most people find getting
to know members of the opposite sex through a hobby far less intimidating than getting to know them in bars or on dates. So, don’t delay. If you’re into badminton, join a club and find a regular mixed-doubles partner, or if you’re into dancing sign up to the nearest cha-cha-cha class and try to find the Fred Astaire to your Ginger Rogers.

Dear Michelle

I have a degree in psychology but have been unemployed for two years. I’m not sure how much longer to stick at this path in the current climate. Should I retrain in something more practical which has a specific skill set? Kate, via email

Finding a job can be difficult now but never give up on your dreams. Is there a certain company you want to work for and could you take another role there to get your foot in the door? Have you applied for work experience placements? Make sure your CV is up to date and contact the HR departments of companies even if jobs aren’t advertised.

Dear Michelle

I’m six months into a new job at an engineering company and, as the only girl in a male environment, I needed to stand up for myself early on. But there’s one colleague who is a real bully. My supervisor has spoken to him but nothing has changed. I’d hate to leave my job just because of this one person. Laura, via email

You should not have to leave because of bullying. You notified your supervisor, so there should be a written record of your complaint, and it’s time to put in another complaint with your HR department. You will need to collect evidence of bullying, so keep a diary of incidents and collect emails you have from him to back it up. For further advice, contact the Citizen’s Advice Bureau (Citizensadvice.org/uk).

Dear Dr Hilary

I’m thinking of booking a tropical holiday, but bugs love me! What can I do to avoid being bitten? Georgia, via email

Unfortunately, taking a holiday to a hot location can mean exposure to biting insects such as mosquitoes and ticks. Sometimes they can transmit nasty infections including malaria, dengue fever, lyme disease and yellow fever, so always try to avoid being bitten. Synthetic repellents containing DEET (diethyl-m-toluamide) should be used, such as Repel Insect Repellent Roll-On 50% DEET (£6.89, Boots.com). Remember to cover up your skin as much as possible at dusk, and use a mosquito net in bed. You can also use an anti-insect chemical plug in your bedroom, which kills the bugs by releasing an insecticide vapour, such as Jungle Formula Mosquito Killer Plug-In (£10.25, Boots.com) or burning an anti-mosquito coil outside, such as Lifesystems Mosquito Smoke Coils (£3.49, Halfords).

Dear Dr Hilary

If I drink alcohol or eat beetroot or spicy food, I go bright red in the face, get bloodshot eyes, and feel a pressure in my head and ears. These symptoms subside after a few minutes. What’s happening?
Helena, via email

The reactions you describe suggest you are experiencing a food intolerance. I recommend you take a First Step Test for food allergies (£9.99, Yorktest.com). This finger-prick test can be done at home and will measure the IgG antibodies in your body to give a positive or negative test result. If you get a positive result, further investigation will be needed. Your GP will be able to refer you for additional tests which can pinpoint the specific foods and drinks you are intolerant too, so you can then plan your diet around them.

Dear Kiki

I’ve just moved back home after uni and my parents are doing my head in. I can’t afford to move out, what can I do? Rosie, via email

There’s a reason living with your parents over the age of 12 is excruciating. If it wasn’t, none of us would ever move out, and we’d end up like those very strange people who never fly the nest, smell slightly of sour milk and only have relationships with people they meet online. But I wouldn’t recommend doing what I did and having your parents sectioned so you can live happily in their home. It required an awful lot of paperwork. Instead, embrace the tension and use it to spur you on to find a rich husband (or a job) and move out as soon as is humanly possible. But if you’ve started playing World Of Warcraft and letting your mother do your washing, it’s already too late.