I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly two years, but last month he ended
it. He didn’t give me a reason, but two weeks later got back with his ex. To
make matters worse, I recently had a miscarriage with his baby. When I told
him, he accused me of cheating on him. I would never do that, and I know it
sounds like he hasn’t been very nice to me, but I want him back. He won’t
talk to me – how can I change his mind?
To say he’s not been very nice to you is an understatement. It sounds like
he’s been a total snake who isn’t worth a minute more of your time. But if
you’re determined you want him back anyway, you have two options: you can
approach him through an intermediary, or you can send him a letter. For the
former, contact a mutual friend or one of his relatives, explain how you
feel and ask them to speak to him on your behalf. If you prefer the second
approach, get writing, making sure to emphasise both your feelings and the
good times you had together. But be prepared for an answer you might not
like. Good luck.
I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for about six months, but it seems he just
can’t let go of the fact I’ve had a boyfriend before him. At every
opportunity he brings it up and compares himself with my ex. I tell him that
I’m with him because it’s him I love, but he’s still insecure. How can I
show him my ex doesn’t mean anything to me?
To be honest, this new guy sounds like a wet, needy pain in the backside, but
if you love him and want to stick with him, then there are two ways to
approach this. You can go soft or you can go hard. If you favour the soft
approach, stop praising reactively and start praising proactively. So
massage his ego by telling him he’s “the best you’ve ever had” and “the
nicest guy you’ve dated” before he starts bleating on about your ex. If you
want to try the hard line, it’s ultimatum time. Tell him you’ve tried to be
patient, but you’ve had enough. Either he mans up and accepts that you’re
over your ex, or you’re off.
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