Dear Toxic
I’ve been married for 20 years and we have two kids. Eighteen years ago, I
had my head turned by a girl I worked with – nothing happened, but my wife
brings it up when we argue. Eight years ago, we separated. We got back
together, but now she says she doesn’t love me and wants to separate for
good. How can I get her to give this relationship another chance?
Mark,
by email
You should stop playing Cinderfella, quit crucifying yourself over something
that didn’t happen 18 years ago, and agree to separate. I know that’s
massive, but I am serious. If you agree to split, then one of two things
will happen.
Your wife will either realise that she loves and needs you and has made a huge
mistake, or she won’t. If she realises she’s made a mistake, then she’ll
start working with you to save your marriage.
And if she doesn’t, then you can stop wasting your life running around after a
woman who doesn’t love you back. What are you waiting for? Get to it.
Separate and prepare to jump-start your life.
Dear Toxic
I’m madly in love with my boyfriend of seven months – the only problem is
his mother. I’ve only met her twice, but she says I’m rude and manipulative.
She even called me a “disease-ridden whore”. I’ve met her friends and they
said I was “delightful”. I can appreciate she loves her son, but she’s so
over-protective. I don’t want to end my relationship, but it’s so stressful.
What can I do?
Elizabeth, by email
Wear a T-shirt that says “disease-ridden whore” to the next family gathering.
Sorry, I’m joking and I shouldn’t, because this is a serious situation. The
good news is there’s a straightforward solution. The bad news is that the
solution won’t involve you. Instead, your boyfriend needs to implore his
mummy to give you a chance. If she does, then wow her with your “delightful”
charm. If she doesn’t, then just avoid her. Playing happy families is great
but you’re dating this woman’s son, not her. So it’s his opinion that
counts.
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