I hate my body and I’ve been saving for years to have plastic surgery. I’m
really flat chested so I want a boob job, and I loathe my thighs so I’m
desperate for lipo. I also want a nose job as my nose is crooked after I
broke it when I was younger.
I’ve sacrificed holidays over the years and missed nights out, and finally
I have saved enough for the surgery.
But my boyfriend, who I’ve been with for a year, doesn’t want me to go
under the knife. He says he loves me the way I am and that he’ll break up
with me if I go ahead with the surgery.
I don’t know what to do. I really love him and see a future with him, but
why should I have to remain unhappy with how I look just to make him happy?
It doesn’t seem fair.
I don’t want to lose my relationship but I’m fed up hating what I see when
I look in the mirror.
What should I do? Alana, 31, Birmingham.
The first thing I want to say is I really hope you’ve thought carefully about
having all this surgery Alana. This is a major operation, under general
anaesthetic, and you are having your body cut open. It’s a very serious
thing to decide to do.
People think that they are going to go under the knife and wake up bursting
with the self confidence they’ve always lacked, feeling like a different
person. But I believe you have to fix your own insecurities yourself.
So I want you to think carefully about the surgery, and understand it may not
make you as happy as you think it will.
If you’re determined to go ahead, then you need to reassure your boyfriend
One reason your boyfriend may be against the surgery is because he’s worried
you’ll become more attractive to other men. He may fear losing you if you
gain a lot of confidence. So you have to reassure him that it will still be
you that comes out of the operating theatre, just a happier version of you.
Ultimately you must decide would it make you happier to have the surgery and
lose your boyfriend, or to stay as you are in your relationship. You have to
follow your heart and make that decision yourself.
Have you got a relationship question for Jo? Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org