Brides never used to bat an eyelid at spending £20,000 on their big day. But
as the recession takes hold, flash bashes have become a thing of the past.
Meet the newly-weds who are leading the bridal backlash and insisting that
less is more…
‘I SAID “I DO” AND THEN WENT TO THE PUB IN MY £18 DRESS!’
Claire
Henderson, 36, an administrator from Oxford, married Nick, 34, a farm hand,
in July 2008.
“When Nick and I decided to get married last year, there was no engagement
party, no bridal magazines and no scouring for venues.
We’d both been married before and we wanted this to be different, so we
planned it in secret. We didn’t even tell our parents! We booked the local
register office for £45 and I bought an £18 linen dress from eBay.
At 19, I’d had a big wedding with vintage cars, flowers, the works it must
have cost my dad a fortune. Even at the time I thought: ‘This isn’t what I
want.’ It was more about pleasing others. The marriage only lasted four
years.
Nick wasn’t working – he was awaiting a kidney transplant – and I had two
part-time jobs, but money was tight. We just wanted it to be personal with
my son Daniel, 15, there.
We drove to the register office in our old Peugeot 405 and asked two elderly
ladies in the library next door to be our witnesses. Daniel took the photos
– he was nervous so they’re a bit blurry! – and our silver rings cost just
£20.
Afterwards, we went to a pub for a three-course steak meal and had a lovely
family day. There was no honeymoon. Instead we took our dogs for a walk
around the local lake.
When we got home, I rang everyone to tell them. No one was disappointed not to
have been invited – they were just thrilled for us. I have no regrets. It’s
a personal choice, but I think a big wedding is a waste of money.
A few months later, Nick had his transplant. Once he’s 100 per cent healthy,
if we can afford it, we’d like a honeymoon in Italy. But the important thing
is that we found each other. I’m so happy to be Nick’s wife.”
‘FRIENDS AND FAMILY DONATED OUR RINGS AND 5-STAR HONEYMOON’
Camilla
Cope, 27, a TV producer from East London, married Stefan Lacandler, 33, a
photographer, in August 2008.
“One day, after Stefan had been away, I came home to find our flat covered in
flowers and candles. There was a bottle of vintage pink champagne – and
Stefan down on one knee!
He proposed and even as I said ‘yes’, I knew our wedding wouldn’t be flash.
I’m not a big white dress kind of girl. And even though Stefan and I both
work, we’re by no means well off. A big do would have cost a fortune and
taken years to save for – and neither of us wanted to wait. So we decided on
a relaxed barbecue with no dress code. Everyone loved the idea – I think
people are fed up of having to spend lots of money on simply being a wedding
guest.
As we were keeping costs low, friends offered to help out. My dad’s friend
lent us his vintage Bentley, my mum’s florist friend did my white lily
bouquet, my hairdresser did my hair as a gift, and Stefan’s photographer
friends took the photos. Our rings are both hand-me-downs – Stefan’s was his
grandfather’s and mine was my mum’s, as Dad has now upgraded hers.
The ceremony was at Islington Town Hall, with 100 of our friends and family.
Then we headed to a local pub for a BBQ. The food cost £12 a head, which my
parents paid for. The only extravagance was my dress – in the end I did
splash out on a turquoise Alice Temperley number. It cost £800, but I’ll
wear it to so many parties and weddings, I see it as an investment.
We had the most wonderful day. Having everyone chip in and help made it so
much more memorable. Weddings should be all about the people you’re with,
not how much you’ve spent. I’m so glad we did it our way. We’re proof that
you don’t have to spend a fortune on your big day.
We know how lucky we are to have such generous friends. Thanks to donations on
Honeymoney.co.uk, we only had to pay an extra £700 for a three-week
honeymoon in Thailand and Cambodia, including a stay in a friend’s house in
a five-star resort in Koh Samui. But our wedding wasn’t wonderful because of
any cost or savings. It’s because I was marrying the love of my life.”
www.rawsilkphotography.com
’I GOT A £15K WEDDING FOR JUST £5K!’
Amy Leyland,
23, a neonatal nurse from Wigan, married Roger, 28, an engineer, in December
2008.
“When Roger proposed five years ago – on a beach in South Wales, nine months
after we’d met – we didn’t set a date. I was about to go to university and
money was tight.
I’d always wanted a big fairy-tale wedding, but even when my parents gave us
£5,000 – a huge sum – I knew I’d have to make compromises. It costs that
much just to hire some venues!
Most of our budget went on the reception at Haigh Hall, a Georgian manor house
in Wigan that Roger and I both love. It cost just £250 to hire, but the meal
for 70 and evening buffet for 120 with wine cost £3,500. For the rest, I had
to shop around. I negotiated 20 per cent off suit hire at Debenhams, haggled
with local florists, our local cake maker made our cake for £100 (some cost
£600), and I made my own invitations.
For other things, it was about being creative. I asked the photographer for a
disc to print off our own photos, and I put them in a leather album I bought
from eBay for £50.
It was pretty stressful, shopping around and sticking to a budget, but it was
worth it. No one could tell the difference between our £5,000 wedding and a
£15,000 one. It was a great day and everyone thought my dress was a designer
one-off!
I feel slightly smug about how much we spent. One of my relatives is about to
spend £4,000 on venue hire and £2,000 on a dress, and I’m thinking: ‘I had a
whole wedding for less than that.’
I loved my wedding. I had the day I’d always dreamt of. But, more importantly,
I married Roger in a place we love, surrounded by our family and friends.”
AVOID THE BIG DAY RIP-OFF
Imogen Edwards-Jones, author of Wedding Babylon, explains how to be a budget
bride
- Visit wedding fairs in spring and autumn when dresses are often half price.
Even better, don’t wait for him to propose – buy the dress when you see
it on sale and hide it in the back of the wardrobe until he does!
Wedding fashion moves very slowly so dresses seldom go out of date.
- The mark-up on a wedding cake is incredible – what should cost about £175 to
make, including ingredients and labour, may be sold for up to £1,000.
Ask the caterer at your venue to bake your cake instead – it’ll be at
least half the price.
- Avoid using the ‘W’ word when ordering your flowers. Tell florists they’re for
a banquet or party, or the price is likely to double.
- Negotiate a deal where you supply the alcohol yourself. Caterers add around 20
per cent on to the price of wine.
- Print your own invitations online – or just email people. Guests only
need to know when to turn up.
- Don’t bother with wedding insurance. Most policies cover you for your dress
going missing or the car breaking down – but not rain or being dumped
at the altar, which is when you actually need it.
- Don’t get married on a bank holiday, Christmas Day or New Year’s Eve as you’ll
be paying triple rates for staff.
- Buy your accessories and underwear at normal retailers rather than at a
wedding shop – they’ll be much cheaper.
- Like Charlotte in Sex And The City, choose different, gorgeous dresses from
the high street for your bridesmaids. That way, you’ll look cool and
save money.
- Don’t assume a buffet is cheaper than a sit-down meal. Often it’s not because
there are a lot more dishes on offer and more food tends to be wasted.
- Finally, remember this is your big day – not your guests’ – so smile and enjoy
it!
Wedding Babylon: Behind The Scenes Of The Best Day Of Your Life by Imogen
Edwards-Jones and Anonymous (Bantam Press, £14.99 ) is out now.
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